Friday 12 October 2012

Sick and tired of Myself

I feel anxious and unsettled. I feel overloaded and completly miserable at times. I am tired and my mind doesn't work clearly , I can't think clearly. I have those milions of racing thoughts I am all confused and disturbed at times. I am feeling angry , every single thing is annoying no mater how big or small. I just feel hopeless and fed up with all the crap around me. I spend around 3000 pounds within last month justto feed the need of buying. I throw a lot of food, because it get expired. I buy too much as for our small family. I had spend 225 pounds on a handbag, really nice and green. Positive colour , right. The pity is the price of it. The money I haven't got. It is just bloody crazy, what the hell , why this is happening to me?! Over spending , binge , not eating, anger, confusion, sadness, mental pain, tiredness, unable to sleep. I think I am overworked - job, college, family commitment, volunteering, and now there is no time for the gym although I am singned up. I might be able to go tomorrow, let see. I just wish the confusion would go away and my mind will be very clear, that is what I want now.

I feel that I can not concentrate at all my thougts change so much. I am having a difficulty to do anything, even shopping as I am forgetting what I have to buy. If I dont do the thing I am thinking of, immidiately, I would forget it, and I try to remind myself what was that I wanted to do and I simply can't. Like I am planning to buy certian groceries and when I am in the store I would buy so many items which are not needed, and forget the one I really want.

I feel just tired.
xoxo

4 comments:

  1. Are we related?? No, no, lol, I just feel that same way alot of times. And I spend money on things I shouldn't again, and again....Uh. I have felt a bit better lately though since I am now taking lithium. Maybe you need a med adjustment? Just a though. ♥

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    1. thank you, it is good to know that someone else have this kind of issues, lol.
      xoxo

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  2. Sounds like me in a hypomanic or manic state... sure you're not bipolar?? lol, I guess they are related disorders!

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    1. If, I would only knew, what is wrong with me, but still I have no idea. I think a lot of times that I might actually be bipolar, but then there is another pattern and it feels like borderline, but then again another one and it is like OC. And it is so much of everything.
      Thanx for the comment , I hope that there will be a day when I will definitely know what I am suffering of.

      xoxo

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