CBT

I got a call at evening today from Right Steps , I have been put on the waiting list for Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I don't know how I feel about it, I hope it will work for me and from what I read, just now, its quiet challenging and has a good rating helping people learn how to manage their feelings. I ask how long I will wait for the therapy and find out that it will take up to 16 weeks , sigh. Never mind I waited that long so now it will be much easier as I know it has been put through.

I feel so empty I thought before if they will put me for therapy I will be so exited. I am not, now I want to read what this all CBT is about.

New GP

So today I went to see GP again , that was a new doctor very young, but sounds ok. I asked her firs of all if she is staying with the surgery as I'm just so unlucky to find a permanent doctor. She said she doesn't know, although she is staying for at least a few months. So I said fine. I told her some parts of my life and she was  looking as she was listening, like  really listening. I liked that. Then she prescribed me new medication additionally to fluoxetine. For my anxiety. I am getting anxious every morning and every other day is worse than the previous day. So I got propranolol 40mg 3 times a day. I hope it will work for me. I know she won't stay with that surgery I can feel that in my bones. I have to prepare myself for the break up, she mentioned that she is a trainee there and I understand that " I'm here to gain an experience, then I'm off to other practice". I just hope I will handle this alright.Work, I feel really sad that I have to go back to work, I need to have a job, I need distraction and work was always helping me. This time my work gives me heart palpitations, constant worry, make me sad, unwelcome, single out, worthless. I need another job, but I don't know why I stopped looking for one. Maybe the case is that I'm going away in May for a wedding, and my subconsciousness is telling me that there is no point looking for a job now as they won't employ me because of those holidays booked. Or maybe I am too depressed to look for the job, or my overwhelming emotions distract me too much. Anyway today will be job search day, I have to do it and maybe finally someone will reply. Wish me luck