As I had searched all
the papers in my parents house I had finally found myPsychiatric Hospital discharge notes. I thought of
different time frame but I was actually hospitalised for
11 days from march until the second week of April 2003. They had made a
diagnosis of depressive reaction - whatever that means.
I will write the notes the psychiatrist wrote in the discharge notes.
The 23 years old patients hospitalised for the first time.
From November 2002 there was a change in her mental health - patient becomes very
sensitive, crying, raging, she found herself unable to concentrate. She had
been on medication but her depressive symptoms get worse with persistent "S" thoughts.
When the patient arrived she had been very moody ,
with tendencies of lowering, she was resignating with "S" thoughts.
In the unit at the begining the patient was weepy, consistent and resonable in her statements. As a reason of
setback of her mental state she expose a stressful situation at home / persist
from childhood/ . She was qualified for the therapy in Neurosis Unit, but she
resigned.
Under the implemented treatment we observed a
partial improvement of mental health. A patient asked for discharge herself,
motivating this decition that she will continue treatment in the
Neurosis Unit as an outpatient.
My medication at this time include Mianserin 60mg/day
Carbamazepin Prolonged 300mg/day
I will take notes to my GP for her to have a look at the medications I had been taking. It might help maybe, although I am not sure. The thing I understand from those notes is that I have neurosis, some kind of it at least. Well there is no surprise here, but I remember as well that she mentioned BPD to me . But she wasn't sure if I was suffering of it. She told me at a time that she needs more time to find out what was wrong with my behaviour, and why I acted the way I did.
This makes me think that if I would carry on staying in the hospital, I would most probably have a diagnosis already, but well I made the decision to go home. It is just my fault then.
I am tired and frustrated, just felling fed up and so ignored by others that it drives me mad.
