Tuesday 30 October 2012

random thoughts and my personal hell

I want to tell you about my thoughts, I am afraid recently and I quiet don't undorstand that at all. I feel like my life is somehow coming to the end , is it just my mind playing? I am frighten that the world is coming to the end, weird right? I am unsettled and anxious, I think a lot and I am frighten about everythink. How come I did get to that stage? I am feeling kind a lost in the world of my self. I am thinking what the hell had happend or what is going to happened in the near future.

Today I had a nap at the afternoon due to the bad cold I'm having and I had that dream about work. This was a strangest dream I had in weeks.
I was at work and there was my hr manager from the previous store I worked for, and I hate her. I spoke to one of the colleagues and ask, why she was in our store, and she told me that S our store manager had brought her over to work in our store. What the hell I thought, I was very upset and I wanted to talk to S about it , but the coinsidence wanted her to be around and S asked me what I want to talk about and she answered him, withought giving me a chance to speak to him myself, that this is probably about The HR course I am currently studying. I didn't say anything I just thought , you fucking bitch u know nothing and you speak on my behalf in my presence. I felt degraded as I felt in the other stor with her around. I just can not bear in mind the thought that she will, by any chance working with us! Any way there was that moment with water and drifting house, It looks like floating house which can be standing on the ground as well as floating on the water. This freaks me out as how the hell the house can float?! Besides it is often in my dreams that the house is floating on the water, and what the hell does it mean? I just relaised today that this is a common dream the floating house, and today in this dream I had been talking to the person who wanted to buy the house and I refuse to sell it. And there was a fire, I had seen from the distance the tree in fire and a lot of fire engines going that way, and I felt uncomfortable and weird. And the atmosphere was weird it was dark and it felt lonely and empty.

I feel just sad about all that it gives e goose bumps, and makes me tired even thinking about it.
xoxo