I had returned to work yesterday after 5 weeks of not being there I felt a bit stressed out the day before. Surprisingly woke up yesterday morning and felt so energetic. Done my make up , dressed , took David to school and went to work. It was a very calm day like there was nobody which make me upset or agitated. It was nice , with one exception. As I came in gone to the office sat by my desk, I have been asked to leave. Ok, I thought I have the logins and passwords and I can use store manager office to do some work. Surprise log ins had changed during my absence as well as passwords. So I haven't done any work until about 12pm!
Then I asked Riki what shell I do? She said to set the wall with the sign, so for the 2 remaining work hours I set up the wall with nicely cut out letters .
The day gone passed quickly. And then I started to concentrate on my mood and behavior through the day.
When I woke up I couldn't get up of the bed and then when I get out of the bed I hit energy spark. I was moving quickly, had a shower, help my son to dress up to school, made him breakfast, dry and modeled my hair, packed his lunch , done my make up , feed the ferret and a cat, dress myself and still had a bit of time left before the school run. When going to school I felt like my nerves in my legs are kind a tense but it was not because of stress I felt the urgency to run , so I walked quickly almost keeping up with David riding his scooter.
Looking back the day before I had similar energy spark, on saturday and sunday I had the urgency to spend moneyso we went shopping. Though I have my fridge set with food for another 3 -4 weeks! I was smoking more through those days and ate less than usual . Then yesterday I kind a binged on food again. And for breakfast today I had a strawberry bon bons ! Daaa , and I actually was considering a healthy food like a porridge with seeds and honey.
So, I am going up and down with my moods, and problem I have is that I do not recognise it myself. Sometimes something normal and regular in my point of view is too high and considered to be a hypomanic episode. Well at the moment I am on CITALOPRAM, and it doesn't really have much of side effects on me which I think is pretty good. Though I read that ppl who suffer of bipolar and take SSRI med become more manic. It doesn't happening to me. Or I might not realise that.
I should write it all down, keep a mood diary!
xoxo
