Happy New Year

Wishing you all a very happy , as much as it can be, calm and healthy New Year 2013 xoxo

panic attack?

And again....

I am fully awake because of a strange dream I had. I recall that I dreamed about the fire, the fire of
my home. I came to a fire, of a strange big , like walk in cupboard/wardrobe I never had, with my husband and run to the kitchen for a container in which I could pour the water to put down the fire. I found a kettle and filled it up with water, and I was able to put the fire down , running and looking for my parents as I know they were at home, I found them in the bathroom in the bathtub full of water. Sleeping. Naked.

I screamed that there was a fire, and how they can not see it, and my dad told me that he knew there is a fire. Why then he didn't do anything to put it down? 

I had seen both of them kind a blurry, although I knew that they were naked in bathtub full of water and a bath foam on the water.

Then I remember a dog, nice dog, who bit me for some reason- I remember I provoked him. Then there was a lot of fire on the road and I was with my hubby his best friend and his ex wife - my cousin with whom I don't speak. Everything was on fire the rooftops, buildings, and we were running away. Somehow the fire stoped, somehow it was manageable to put it down , but the hell I feel fear now.
There was a whale not real though , but making real sounds - song of the whales is known to everyone I think. So, the whale was white and blue and was this kind of toy which you use on the water when you go swimming, you blow it and it floats on the water. But this one was like a real as it made a sound and moved and was really massive - like a real one.

I woke up to use the toilet, and to my surprise after it I came to the bedroom and I started to think about this dream, and I got very anxious , I had this pounding feeling in my chest and my ears were ringing. I felt like I am losing myself again, short of breath , so took the two puffs of the asthma relief, and then I realised that this might be a panic attack. So I opened the window and I started to breath and somehow I overcome that.



Now I realised that for the time I am at home - parents house, I was waking up at 3 am every night with symptoms of asthma but now I actually start to think that is was all along a panic attack , caused by my dreams. Today I checked the time and it wasn't 3am it was 1am. I can't go back to sleep after that , for no particular reason, so I thought I will write about it, so I will be able to speak to A. about it at my next session and to my GP.

So my dreams are really annoying , as they make me frightened and somehow prevent me from functioning as after the dream I am awake for a few hours which affects me, as I am tired through the day and I am not in mood to do anything.