thoughts

I am tired of life and being the person I am at times like now, I feel very low and fully consumed by the pain which is deep inside me. I want to run to the end of the world and I am unable to as there is no end.My thoughts are my main enemy. I just thought of the moment my mum found her dad dying on the floor in his flat - he had a cancer which took his life. But how awkward it have to be to found someone you love at the end of their life path. It makes me sad. My nana was suffering from dementia so her memory wasnt good at times she was saying that she is a young woman, she didn't know at times that my mother was her daughter - sad as well. My mother is going through simular path of loosing memory, she might have dementia in future, so do I - As woman genes are the one which are more valunrable to get dementia.

But that's the think pain is so overwelming and it feels like there is no stopping there, mind is concentrainting on it so badly, I am unable to think about anythink else. My pain is massive I just cfan think about it and about the sllep, although I am going to work so I can not sllep. Hopefully when I will go out it will help me to take my mind off those thoughts I have.

mmm sad :(  xoxo