tough time

I am tired of people , tired of all that crap they say and do. Why? I again had been in a situation which made me feel worthless and hopeless without ability to understand what have been going on. As I came to work on Wednesday last week I had seen that my name have been removed from supervisor schedule, it was frightening and immediately made me feel anxious to a state I didn't want to be at work. I had seen my manager but he looked occupied so I decided not to disturb him , and just  wait until he will come  over and talk to me about it. Though this didn't happened , well long story short, he said that I am doing mistakes and forget things, and it will be best FOR ME to be on the till for 2 WEEKS !!! I felt like this is punishment for my incompetence as a person in charge , where actually it wasn't.

A couple of days earlier I had a conversation with my store manager and he asked me what he can do to help me go through the tough time. I said I don't really know, I was confused and not in the state to really decide. Then on Wednesday it was him who actually made the decision for me, which I would understand , as we had this talk , beside he knows everything about me and the difficulties I am currently experiencing.

My department manager is a piece of shit, he is the worthless person ever who doesn't know how to work with people is very unprofessional and dumb. Yes those are the words I can describe this person with.

He hurt me so much that the next day I was really suicidal, I called Mind and the hospital with which I am outpatient and talked to a social worker on duty who actually helped me to go through the tough period of time. I hate that it makes me feel weak and I hate to feel weak. One idiot can screw your life completely.
It makes some sense.

He have very visible behaviours like my mother, this brings the mother memory back to me , her being really hurtful and nasty that is how I perceive him.
I feel better now, I hope I won't get in to such a state any time soon.

xoxo