survivour

I feel empowered as not many of us is able to work, I am the lucky one, I have to work . For me the job is like a medication takes my mind out of things. That's why I am still here, I am surviving and I am capable of doing things for myself. I work to kill the time as sometimes I feel like time is my enemy, If I have to much time I will plan the murder, I will harm myself, I will abuse myself, I will get angry and be tired of life. So working is keeping me sane and I manage to work well under pressure. 

I am pretty hyper at work just because I love to do so many things at this same time , I am unable to be bored, if I am, I am tired, I feel like there is no point of me being at work. Then I will feel sick and I want to go home, that is basically how I am. 

I meant to be strong and I am trying to be, but life is cruel and is hurting me , I try to defend as much as I can, how long yet I will manage to be strong?

Feeling tired and anxious and sad somehow I feel like there is no energy in me anymore. The weird thing is when I am going to work I get the energy supply , and I really work hard. 

I was somehow able to delete myself from my followers , yey me ! I am proud of myself.